Title: Instinct

Author/Email: Jo. R (Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk)

Rating: 15 in the UK, very mild R in the US.

Spoilers/Season: Set season eight. Basic knowledge of events 1-7 (i.e. the main Sam-related-storyline in 'Chimera', the main storyline in 'Heroes' – nothing most people don't know.)

Category: Angst, Horror, Sam/Jack, Mild Sam/Pete, Fluff.

Warnings: Mild sexual situations between two consenting adults.

Summary: Following your instinct can lead to danger, sometimes to death and sometimes to something else entirely.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 PTB (Sci Fi, MGM, Gekko Productions etc. etc.) own most of the characters mentioned in this piece of fiction. No money is being made, no disrespect meant. Please don't ban us from writing fanfiction or I'll cry. I really, really will.

Author's Notes: Don't ask me where this story came from, I'm not entirely sure myself. I'm thinking it's a combination of an attempt at getting SJ together in a semi-original way whilst dealing with the Sam/Pete relationship (that I admit, I'm a fan of – not that you'd know it from this..) and also pandering to my muses demand for a 'supernatural' SG fic. Hopefully now it's written, I'll be able to concentrate on other ideas!

*big hugs* and mega thanks to Ruthie for being a beta and for helping me remove That Sentence (TM) from this story. And for putting up with me and my doubts and one-hundred-and-one questions. Love you, sis! *hugs*

If you like happy endings, read on till the end of part eight.

If you like to be able to draw your own conclusions, stop reading at the end of part seven.

=*=

It coursed through her veins when she least expected it to. A hunger, a craving, a lust for something that both disgusted and tempted her. She sat in the corner of the darkened room, her legs itching for her to move. Pacing for four hours hadn't satiated the need rising inside her. Neither had the two-hour workout she'd had before.

Nothing could satisfy her appetite, nothing could stop what was happening to her.

Sam Carter was no longer human.

No. Sam Carter was turning into something else. Something many believed only existed in horror stores and nightmares and made-to-terrify movies.

Sam Carter was changing into something a lot more sinister, a lot more dangerous than the Goa'uld they were fighting against and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The blood thundered through her veins and pounded in her head, the need becoming more and more urgent.

Her fingernails, now sharp like claws, dug into her palms and drew blood, the tangy metallic scent teasing her heightened senses and pushing her – almost pushing her – over the edge.

She kept her eyes closed, ground her teeth and focused on the pain, using the burning agony spreading like wildfire through her body to fight the transformation trying to take place.

She had to hold on, had to keep fighting, just till morning. Just till sunrise. Then she could make her escape. Then she could save her friends from the horrors that awaited them if she was forced to stay.

Then she could join him, her mate, the one responsible for her condition, the one her instincts drove her to find – hopefully before he did something his human half would never forgive.

=*=

As with all missions that went wrong, this one started off as no different to the norm. The only unusual aspect about it was that General O'Neill had chosen to accompany his former team, explaining offhandedly that he needed to get out there and stretch his legs for a while.

His request had only been granted by the President because it was supposed to be a routine mineral survey on a planet the MALP and UAV had shown to be uninhabited.

Uninhabited by human life forms at least.

There were creatures who lived on the planet, creatures they didn't know about until it was too late. They were half human, half animal. They slept through the day in caves, sometimes even out in the open but always carefully hidden by trees and undergrowth. It was at night when they came alive, when their human forms were shed in favour of something more sinister.

It was a night ingrained in the memories of SG-1, one that wouldn't be easily forgotten. The days after it, the long hot days of helplessness and desperation, they wouldn't be forgotten either.

Everything had been okay. They'd got there, explored a little, set up camp and settled around a campfire for a late snack before retiring for bed. Then the creatures came. They burst out of the forests, snarling and growling, saliva dripping from their mouths.

They weren't human. They looked like it on the surface - apart from the long, pointed teeth. Apart from the sharp claws and the animalistic glow to their eyes. But they weren't human. No human looked at another with such hunger, such greed.

They moved too quickly for SG-1 to properly defend themselves, a group of three or four of them – both male and female – going straight for the General.

Maybe they knew he was their leader. Maybe they knew he was the one in charge.

He was on the ground in an instant, almost before they knew they were under attack. A female was on top of him, gnawing on the flesh of his shoulder as two others knelt beside her either waiting their turn or preparing themselves to defend her.

It didn't take long for the other members of SG-1 to arm themselves. They fired round after round, staff blast after staff blast at the creatures but only the staff blasts were any use. The creatures weren't affected by the bullets hailing down on them. They bled, but they didn't stop moving. They didn't stop advancing on them, some pausing to howl in apparent victory at the easy defeat.

Then the others had come, carrying heavy flaming torches.

The fire scared the creatures and it didn't take SG-1 long to pick up on that. Sam, Teal'c and Daniel each hurriedly found a stick and lit them using the fire. Sam immediately moved to the wounded General while Teal'c and Daniel helped distract the creatures from going after her, too.

The beasts had eventually given up the fight, the female who had first pounced on the General being the last to leave, casting her glowing eyes over the remaining members of SG-1 and the strangers who had joined them.

Strangers who were like the creatures but also not. Their teeth were normal as far as SG-1 could see, their nails were still nails.. But their eyes gave it away. They were a strange colour, glinting in the same way as the beasts that had attacked them.

"Your friend has been infected," the leader had said in a low, gravely voice that was oddly commanding. "He must come with us."

"We're not going anywhere until you explain who you are." Sam had retorted in the only way she could – angry, protective. SG-1 was her team, Goddamnit, the General was her leader – and her friend. And these people thought they could just come along and try to take him from them? Without an explanation, let alone a fight? So. Not. Going. To. Happen. She reluctantly let Daniel take over her position of tending to the General's wounds and stood as straight as she could, glaring at the apparent leader.

The leader looked at her as though she were nothing, his eyes cold and icy. "Who we are is of no consequence. If you do not allow us to take your friend, he will either die or suffer a fate worse than death. It is your choice."

Sam had glared at him in suspicion but had had little choice but to go with them. "Where he goes, we go."

"That is acceptable," was the only thing the leader had said, motioning to two of his followers to grab the General and within minutes they were on their way.

SG-1 had no choice but to follow them, each member of the team careful not to step in the trail of blood left in Jack O'Neill's wake.

=*=

The days that followed were agony, for them as well as the General. The leader of the rebels – that's what they were told they were – was a man called Anoc. He explained to them that they were the same species as the creatures that had attacked them but that they were more civilised – they took herbal medication to suppress their killer instincts and more sinister urges and it worked, most of the time. He also explained that the female who attacked the General, Balita, had lost her mate recently in a battle between the two groups. He suspected that she'd attacked General O'Neill because she'd not only sensed he was their leader but had set her sights on him as her new mate.

The idea didn't sit well with any of the members of SG-1 – nor did the suggestion that they leave the General with Anoc and his people for a few weeks so they could see if he could be saved or if he needed to be killed.

"If you've got medication that works, why don't you give us some and let us leave? Then it's not your problem anymore. If we have to kill him.. Well, we can make that decision ourselves." Daniel had tried to reason with them. He'd tried to convince them that they wouldn't leave their friend behind.

It had taken four days before Anoc had agreed to meet with them to discuss alternate arrangements and when he did, they found he was reluctant to let them speak.

"We cannot guarantee our medication will work on your friend. He is of a different species as you are well aware, and sometimes it fails to work for our own." Anoc shook his head, staring at them with pity in his eyes. It was as if it was a foregone conclusion, as if he knew Jack wasn't going to live and was just humouring them with hope. "It would be safer for you and him if he remained here with us. You do not know what to expect, you do not know how to defend yourselves if he were to attack you."

"Then tell us. Show us how. We're not going to leave him here and that's that so either you tell us how to handle him if the worst does happen but we're not going to leave him behind. If you won't help us, we'll take him home today and figure it out for ourselves."

Daniel's speech was apparently ignored. Anoc had just stared at him, his expression as blank as usual. Daniel had stormed out of the marquis then, marching towards the smaller tent that housed the General and the Colonel, who was taking her turn at watching over him.

Teal'c had lingered behind, meeting Anoc's cool gaze with a determined stare of his own. "We do not leave our own behind," Teal'c had said, holding his opponents gaze unflinchingly. "O'Neill means a great deal to us and to our people. If you try to detain him here you will be met with resistance. Many will die." His warning issued, Teal'c inclined his head slightly. "I will leave the decision up to you."

He left to join his friends, noticing with some alarm on entering the small tent that the General's condition had worsened. Beads of sweat pooled at his hairline and ran down his face like mini streams and rivers. His eyes were closed, his brow furrowed in obvious discomfort. In obvious pain. His lips moved wordlessly, almost as if he wanted to shout out but was holding it back for the sake of his companions.

"Colonel Carter," Teal'c made to move forward, laying a hand on the shoulder of the exhausted Colonel. "Perhaps you should rest. We may need to use force to leave here. Daniel Jackson and I can watch over O'Neill."

Sam had shaken her head then, her eyes never moving from the General's face. "I'm not leaving him, Teal'c. It was my responsibility to take care of everyone on this mission. It's my responsibility to make sure we all go home."

It was a responsibility she took seriously, one she wasn't going to let anyone unburden her of. For another two days and two nights, Sam sat on the floor at the side of the General's bed, wiping his brow with a damp cloth, helping him take sips of the water they were supplied with and generally doing all she could to keep him alive.

She didn't notice that the wound on his shoulder was slowly healing, that it was disappearing, almost being absorbed into the skin.

Anoc noticed.

He noticed when he came in one night to check on their captives, when Teal'c and Daniel were elsewhere getting food and water for themselves and their leader.

He noticed the skin knitting together, the angry red marks fading. And he was there when General O'Neill opened his eyes, his non-human eyes, and he was there to see the way that gaze lingered over the sleeping woman at his side.

The two men locked gazes; one wanting to heal, one wanting to hurt.

The very next day, Anoc summoned all members of SG-1, plus their General who was able to stand with support from his former teammates. He knew when he stared at the General that the human had no recollection of the events of the night before and wondered if perhaps it wasn't too late to save his soul after all.

"Take this," Anoc had said, his voice showing his regret but also leaving no room for arguments. One of his guards pushed a large wooden box into Teal'c's hands and quickly stepped back, lowering his gaze. "The measuring device we use is stored in the box with the medication. One ladle full should be added to water and drank by General O'Neill at least once a week. It will not cure him but it will help him fight the change. If you need further assistance, you may return to our planet but you should only do so during the sunlight hours. Barita will know the instant he returns and I have no doubt that should you travel unaccompanied by us after nightfall, she will try to take back her intended."

"Thank you for your help." Daniel had thanked them on behalf of Sam, who was doing her best to keep the General upright since Teal'c was busy contending with the box they'd been given.

And that was where the civilities had ended.

SG-1 were escorted back through the Stargate and were watched as they dialled the address for Earth, watched as the Stargate engaged and as Daniel sent the code that would open the Iris through the wormhole.

Telling the SGC it was safe, that they weren't the enemy.

Lying.

Anoc watched them go, knowing that his involvement with the quartet was over.

Knowing that their nightmare was about to begin.

=*=

/part one

=*=

Doctor Brightman had confiscated the box and confined Jack to an isolation room the moment they returned. When Sam and the other two members of SG-1 had protested, Doctor Brightman had simply reminded them that she had the authority to take command in medical emergencies – and that she could outrank even General O'Neill if necessary.

Her explanation was that they didn't know what kind of virus he'd contracted, that they couldn't trust Anoc's word that the powdered substance was safe to use on humans, let alone something that would help the General's current condition. She'd insisted on running tests on both Jack and the medicine and it was clear she didn't quite believe the story SG-1 had told on their return.

Animals that looked like humans, who gnawed on flesh and fed on blood. Yeah, right. It was a story that belonged in books of fiction, Doctor Brightman decided, not one that belonged in General O'Neill's medical records.

It was her scepticism that led to the horror escalating, her disbelief that helped the disease begin to spread.

=*=

General George Hammond returned to the base as temporary commander and had been asked to stay on until General O'Neill was well enough to return to active duty. He assigned the SG-units on various missions, keeping things ticking over and falling into his old role easily enough. SG-1, however, proved to be a small problem. After having almost lost one member or another several times over the course of the last eight months or so, all three members of SG-1 had approached him individually and asked that he refrain from giving them field assignments so they could stay in close proximity to their friend.

They never said that was their reason but he knew them well enough to know the truth. Daniel Jackson had come to him first and had asked to be able to spend some time catching up on the backlog of artefacts gathering dust in his office. When permission had been granted for him, Teal'c had approached him and asked for permission to help Daniel with his translations. General Hammond couldn't say no so found himself agreeing to the request.

Then Colonel Carter asked for a moment of his time and he knew what was coming. Before she could take the seat in front of him, he told her that yes, she had permission to work in her lab catching up on various projects – on the understanding that from time to time depending on how long General O'Neill was out of action she may be required to spend a day here and a day there at the Academy or occasionally she and one or both of her teammates may be asked to go with another SG-team out on a mission.

His reward had been a bright smile and a heartfelt thank you. General Hammond had watched her go then, warmed by her gratitude, blissfully unaware that by granting her request he had in fact sealed her fate.

=*=

With half closed eyes, he studied everyone who entered his room. He was in isolation, in a room by himself, which was a good thing. It helped make it easier, helped him sense her presence above the others.

For almost a week he had been biding his time, waiting for the right moment. He learned their patterns, their scents. He listened carefully to the sounds they made and committed them to memory.

The human half of his brain, the part that still fought, tried to warn them. Tried to warn her. He was more than just human, though, and although he possessed the memories, knowledge and intelligence of the man he'd once been, he was also possessed by something else.

Something dark, something dangerous.

Time old instincts that his people had long since traded for civility, for communication and compromise were finding their way back to him. Instincts that had been repressed or tamed since the days of prehistoric man were now rising inside, dominating him. Encouraging him and driving him on.

He felt like part of him was being reawakened. He wanted to hunt, wanted to feed. To enjoy the chase as much as the kill. He wanted his freedom, wanted to claim his territory, wanted to destroy anyone who dared to challenge him on either. He wanted to mate, wanted to start a pack of his own.

He would start by claiming her. By turning her. He would start by taking his mate.

The female who was responsible for his condition was of no interest to him. If he had been left with those people he knew he would have fought her claim. He even would have killed her if it had come to it. She wasn't his mate, she wasn't the one he was drawn to. He would claim his female and no other would do for either of them after that.

Even if she didn't come to him willingly, though he somehow knew she would. He would stalk her like prey until she wanted him as much as he wanted her if he had to but if was reading the signs right, then that wouldn't be a problem.

She already acted as his mate should though he doubted she was aware of it. She had remained by his side for long hours, helping him heal, protecting him from danger while he was vulnerable to attack. She had provided him with food and water, had helped him regain his strength. And she looked at him with naked eyes, raw emotion evident in their depths.

Lust. Desire. Need. Love.

And whether she was conscious of it or not, she emitted her own possessive vibes of him whenever there was another female close by. Whenever Doctor Brightman arrived he could sense and see her subtly warn the other woman that she was trespassing, that he belonged to her and God help anyone who said otherwise. Whether it was the look on her face or the way her hand tightened on his arm, she had claimed him as her mate and made it clear to anyone who cared to look closely enough.

And so he'd realised she was the one, that his instincts had been right, and had set about planning his next move.

Waiting, biding his time, until the perfect opportunity presented itself.

=*=

Tiredness made her pace slower than usual, exhaustion dulled her senses and concern affected her reflexes. After a long day at the Academy, she should really have gone home, checked her messages, had a nice long bath and maybe phoned Pete Shanahan, her boyfriend of over seven months.

*Should* have but didn't.

Instead, she drove straight to the SGC, smiled tiredly at the SF's she passed at the various security checkpoints and made her way down to the General's private room.

Doctor Brightman would be off duty and she knew Teal'c and Daniel would be taking a break from sitting with Jack, giving her a few moments if not more alone with him.

His condition was still giving her cause for concern. He wasn't getting any worse but neither was he on his way to a full recovery. Doctor Brightman had refused to give him any of Anoc's medication, instead telling them that she was "this close" to isolating the element in the medication that had reacted positively with the various blood samples she'd taken. She believed she was close to finding a cure and nothing they could say convinced her to give him the smallest dose in the meantime.

General O'Neill had yet to react to any of them. He had opened his eyes but just lay there, studying them. They weren't sure if he could hear them and maybe that was the reason he didn't respond. But he could see, Sam was sure of that.

She'd felt his gaze follow her across the room once, the heat of it making her feel uncomfortable at first but just as she'd gotten used to it, the heat had gone replaced by what had become the usual almost blank stare. She tried to tell herself she wasn’t disappointed – and even if she was, it was only because it had been the first sign of life he'd shown in weeks.

With a bracing sigh, Sam pushed open the door to the room and stepped inside. She had fixed a bright smile on her face but it was one that faded when she realised he was sound asleep. She closed the door behind her and walked over to the chair at the side of his bed, telling herself she'd only be there for a little while and then she'd go home and get a good nights sleep.

=*=

He had known she was coming before she'd even opened the door. He had heard her familiar footsteps even as she'd turned the corner onto the hallway his room was on. And then he caught a whiff of her perfume and his nerve endings had tingled in response.

She was coming. His mate was on her way.

The scent grew stronger the closer she got and when the door clicked open, inhaled deeply and then held his breath, savouring it. The smell of her intoxicated him. For a split second, he felt light-headed with it, with the need, but he reigned in those feelings, telling himself that his thirst would be quenched soon enough.

So he waited patiently, enjoying the experience of having her so close with no one else around. It was rare that just the two of them were together and sensing her presence – and only her presence – was something he could get used to.

He knew the instant she fell asleep, he could hear the change in her breathing. Only then did he risk opening his eyes, devouring the sight of her as though he was a man who'd gone without for weeks.

She looked tired. There were smudges under her eyes and her skin was pale. Pale but still tempting. With her head at that angle, the flesh of her neck was exposed, the expanse of smooth skin spreading all the way to her collarbone.

He wondered if it would be as silky to touch as it looked. Part of him thought about finding out, part of him fought against it.

The part of him that wanted it won.

Even as he moved, he could feel it happening. He'd been fighting it but he couldn't anymore. The thought of claiming her, the fact that she was so close made it impossible to keep it at bay His hands clenched and unclenched, and his fingernails grew into claws. As they sharpened, it became impossible to keep his hands unclenched without slicing his palms into shreds. He stifled a growl, keeping it locked in his throat as his blood burned its way through his body, as his teeth transformed into fangs.

Sharp fangs. Sharp enough to cut through anything, sharp enough to pierce even the toughest of skin.

He gave in to the temptation and gave in completely to the primal urges. He moved quickly and quickly, with a stealth no human could master.

He took his time, kneeling on the floor beside her. The floor was hard and cold beneath his knees but he didn't care. He didn't even notice. He was captivated by the sight of her; by the way her chest rose and fell, straining the material of her uniform jacket. He watched her eyes move under her eyelids and wondered briefly what she was dreaming of, wondering if he featured at all in her dreams.

Then the need to touch her outgrew the need to watch. He reached out, trailing the tips of his claws along her jaw. Gently, with no intention to hurt her. His eyes remained glued to his fingers, watching them travel down her neck, towards her chest, focusing where the skin disappeared beneath her clothes.

He didn't hesitate. With careful fingers, he eased the material to one side, slipping one button through its loop, followed by the next and the next. When the suit jacket was disposed of sufficiently, he got to work on her blouse, pausing when she sighed and shifted slightly in her sleep but quickly resuming his actions when she settled down.

He pushed the material aside and sat back on his heels, taking in the sight of her bared chest, his gaze lingering where the white lace of her bra met the white satin.

Something inside him snapped. It was time.

Reluctantly, he dragged his eyes away and raised his hands. He shifted the material to the side, baring her shoulder to his hungry gaze. He ran his fingers over her skin, feeling the taunt muscle and bone lingering underneath. Unable to resist, he brought his mouth down to taste her, to kiss her, his lips leaving a trail from her jaw down her neck to her shoulder. Just kissing, with the occasional gentle nip.

The second she woke up he knew. There was movement under his mouth and hands, a hitch in her breathing.

He felt her trembling and lifted his head, meeting her curious gaze with his own inhuman eyes He saw the confusion, saw the questions but most of all he saw the slightly dilated pupils, the darkened irises. It was that, and the way her tongue darted out to moisten her dry lips that spurned him on.

"Jack..?" His name, rarely heard passing her lips, was said in a whisper, not out of fear but as a question.

He released the growl building up in his throat and bared his teeth. She gasped but that was it. She didn't scream, not even when he lowered his head and sunk his teeth into her flesh. She sensed more than saw her hand move, felt it rest on the back of his neck, her fingers lacing through his hair.

She didn't try to push him away, though. She didn't scream and she didn't fight. Maybe she was too stunned, maybe she was too tired. Maybe on one level she wanted it as much as he did.

A lifetime later when he pushed himself away having heard sounds in the hallway outside, Jack let his eyes find hers, bracing himself for the disgust, for the betrayal he was sure to find.

Nothing.

She stared at him with slightly unfocused eyes, breathing heavily, her chest heaving with the effort. A sheen of sweat broke out over her skin and it was all he could do not to lick it away.

There was no fear or hatred in her eyes. No disgust on her face to make him feel ashamed. Just acceptance, just blinding faith that he wasn't going to kill her. Almost as if she had expected it. Almost as if she'd been waiting.

His appetite as satiated as it was going to get given the situation they were in, the beast within him started to relinquish its hold. Jack blinked, the animalistic glow in his eyes fading as remorse and guilt took its place. He started at her in horrified fascination, at the skin exposed to his gaze, at the bite marks at her shoulder.

He'd done that.

Even before he lifted his hand to wipe the blood – her blood – from his mouth, even as he remembered the taste of her, the feeling of lust and fire that had spread through him as he'd drank all that he could without killing her, he knew that he was responsible for her condition.

He knew.

As the human instincts took over the animal ones, Jack leapt back, bumping into his bed, grateful it was there to take the weight off his unsteady legs. He hit the call button and watched from far away as people flooded the room and swept her away.

And even as they did, the eye contact between them was undisturbed. Only when she was physically removed from the room was it broken.

Not once did he see revulsion appear on her face. Not once did he see fear or regret or alarm.

Not once did she look at him like the beast he was.

Later that night, as the sun started to rise up on the surface, Jack felt something move in the pit of his stomach.

Longing. Lust. Anger.

They'd taken her from him. His mate. They'd taken her away and he wanted her back.

He needed her back.

With a howl that echoed throughout the slowly busying hallways, Jack threw himself against the door to his room, trying the handle, growling in frustration when the door wouldn't budge.

They'd locked him but locks wouldn't keep him at bay for long.

Not when she was so close. Not when he could smell her, not when he knew she was almost within his reach.

=*=

/part two

=*=

She kept insisting she was fine but she wasn't. Not by their standards. The nature of the beast was rapidly taking over but her mind was as sharp as ever. She knew that she had to seem unaffected – especially if she was going to earn their trust.

"I don't feel any different," she protested for the sixteenth time to Doctor Brightman, General Hammond and her teammates. "Maybe it affects women differently to men."

"She hasn't had a fever," Daniel pointed out, eager to believe she was okay. "When Jack was first infected, he was out with a fever for at least four days before we even got here. That was when Anoc refused to let us leave."

"Maybe," Doctor Brightman didn't look convinced. "But your latest blood sample shows the presence of the same viral agent as General O'Neill so I'd like you to stay on base until we know more. I think, however, it's safe to say this virus is not airborne and that it's only contagious should the saliva of an infected person infect the blood stream of an uninfected person."

"Is that not what we told you?" Teal'c questioned, throwing the Doctor an impatient look. "You dismissed the suggestion if I recall correctly."

Doctor Brightman shuffled on the spot. "I may have been rash in m assumption and for that I apologise. But, I'm still a long way from believing this virus converts the infected party into some form of animal. That type of belief belongs in horror fiction, not in science."

"Then how do *you* explain Jack taking a bite out of Sam?" Daniel asked scathingly. "What, did he just get hungry? Maybe he had a real craving for some rare meat and because there wasn't a steakhouse in the vicinity, he thought he'd make do with a nice chunk of Sam instead."

Sam hid a smile. Daniel was closer to the truth than he realised only she knew Jack hadn't been looking at her as his next meal. No, it wasn't food he'd been craving. She managed to suppress a shiver at the thought and listened to the conversation with one ear while the other strained to head her mate beating the locked door of his room along the hallway from hers. The heightened hearing was a wonderful thing but she could do without the extra sensitive sense of smell – the sterile smell of the infirmary was strong enough without it.

"General O'Neill is being controlled by an infection," Doctor Brightman retorted sharply. "That is all there is to it. He is not turning into something else, he is suffering from a virus that can and will be cured if you would let me get back to my work instead of wasting my time with these ridiculous theories."

General Hammond interrupted before Daniel or Teal'c could get in with another dig. "Be that as it may, Doctor, I want to know if it's likely General O'Neill or Colonel Carter pose a treat to anyone else in this facility. And I'm curious, why do you think Jack singled out the Colonel when he could have easily gone after you or any number of your staff who have been left alone with him over the last few days. Why did he wait until he was alone with Colonel Carter?"

Sam tilted her head to the side, taking a deeper interest in the conversation and waiting patiently for the Doctor's reply.

"It could be the virus trying to spread," Doctor Brightman responded quietly, almost as if she knew how weak her answer sounded. "I don't know why he would go specifically after Colonel Carter, maybe the virus recognised her to be a good carrier.."

Daniel snorted. "A *virus* recognised her to be a good carrier? More like Jack recognised she'd be good mating material." His features flushed a deep red in colour when he realised what he'd said and he shot Sam an apologetic look. "Ah, sorry, Sam."

Sam smiled but said nothing. She instead looked to Teal'c who'd picked up the argument where Daniel had left it. "I believe Doctor Jackson is right. Anoc told us the female leader attacked General O'Neill as she was in need of a mate. It stands to reason that the same desire would lead O'Neill to chose Colonel Carter as a suitable partner."

"And why Colonel Carter above the countless other females he's been in contact with over the last week?" Doctor Brightman scoffed. When no one replied, she took their silence to be their agreement – or a sign that neither of them had an adequate argument. In truth, it was because the answer was uncomfortably clear to all three male occupants of the room but none of them wanted to voice it – especially not in the presence of Sam. "In answer to your question, General, I believe they could well be a threat to the other members of the base, General O'Neill especially since he's already demonstrated violent behaviour. That's why I'm recommending that he be sedated and restrained immediately. As Colonel Carter has exhibited no similar symptoms, I'm happy to let her remain here unrestrained for the moment. However, should her behaviour begin to change, I recommend that she be sedated and restrained also. For your own safety, Colonel, as much as for ours," she added with a smile that wasn't quite sincere.

Resisting the urge to snarl at the other woman, Sam forced a polite smile and nodded, congratulating herself on her ability to appear so docile. "I understand, Doctor. If I in anyway endanger the base, I'll be gladly sedated. The thought of feasting on my colleagues is a less than appealing one."

She wasn't lying, either. She felt no desire to hurt anyone at the SGC, half preferring to refrain from all meat in case she should start craving larger meals and half wishing for a prey that would present more of a challenge to her. Animals out in the wild, she imagined, would give a good chase, and provide a good hunt. And of course her mate would be there with her, at her side, and then they could spend time satisfying other hungers as well..

The longing she felt luckily didn't show in her outwardly appearance. She returned the General's nod with one of her own, and allowed herself a smile as Doctor Brightman insisted they leave and let her get some sleep.

"If she doesn't believe they're turning into animals, why is she locking them up as if they are?"

She heard Daniel's complaint even as he walked towards the elevators with Teal'c in tow and lay back on her bed, stretching her arms above her head as she did.

Tuning their voices out, she closed her eyes and concentrated on Jack and the sounds she could hear from his room. There was more banging and a howl – he was calling to her, asking if she was okay but she couldn't answer. Not without giving it away and endangering them both.

She heard the banging stop and almost sat up in alarm, only to hear the door to his room swing open and the telltale click as a tranquilliser gun was fired. She heard his surprised yelp, his warning growl when someone got too close and then he was silent, the tranquilliser having taken effect.

Closing her eyes, she smiled again and started playing the waiting game.

=*=

Midday was, surprising, the time of day when the corridors and infirmary were the quietest. Sam knew; although she'd been feigning sleep, she'd actually been awake the whole time, listening to the footsteps in the hallway that separated her from her mate.

She waited for five minutes until she was sure the coast was clear, then she slipped from under the sheets of her bed and crept to the door. She snorted in disgust when her first attempt at opening it failed – so much for Doctor Brightman believing she was harmless – and stalked back to the bed. She reached under the mattress and took out the security pass she'd stolen from Daniel and hid there, doing an abrupt turn back to the door.

She paused before using it, listening intently. There was only one person in the hallway asides from herself and Jack: the SF who was guarding his room. She'd heard his companion leave five minutes ago, telling his friend he was going to grab some coffee and take a leak – hopefully not in that order.

Satisfied that she could cope with the single SF, Sam swiped the card through the slot and made her way out into the hallway. She moved quietly, so quietly that the SF didn't know she was there until they were side by side.

"Colonel Carter," he stuttered. "I didn't know Doctor Brightman had released you. Does that mean you're cured now..?"

"She hasn't released me yet," Sam all but purred, invading his personal space and smiling slyly when he swallowed hard. "But thank you for caring."

Before he knew what had hit him, Sam had stunned him with an elbow to the jaw. She hit him again before he could recover, knocking him out with her newfound strength. She used her card in the security slot again and opened the door, keeping it open with her behind as she dragged the unconscious man in with her.

The smell of her made almost distracted her from her plans but she forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand. As quickly as she could, she bound the SF's hands behind his back with is own belt and gagged him with a strip of material she'd torn from the sheets of her own bed before making her rescue attempt. That done, she stripped him of his security card and gun, and moved to stand beside Jack.

His nostrils flared, telling her that he knew she was there, but he remained stubbornly unconscious. Using the strength she'd only recently come to possess, she snapped the restraints tying him down and leaned over him.

"Ja-ck," she called out in a sing-song voice, one hand going to his cheek, travelling down his neck to where she felt his pulse throbbing against her touch, the other resting against his chest as it moved with every breath he took. He stirred but didn't wake up entirely so se leaned in and brushed his lips teasingly with hers.

Under ordinary circumstances, Colonel Carter would ever make such a move on her commanding officer, especially not when he was fighting against the pull of slumber. But these weren't ordinary circumstances and she wasn't just Colonel Carter anymore. She was more than that; she was his. She still remembered the regulations and all of the good reasons they couldn't be together but her instinct, her desires overrode that knowledge. It wasn't a case of wanting to be with him, it was a case of needing to be.

Her kiss had him licking his lips and grinning deviously but his eyes stayed stubbornly closed. Shaking her head, she moved in again, sealing his mouth with hers in a searing kiss hoping he'd rise to the occasion.

He didn't disappoint.

A growl burst from somewhere deep in his throat and he seemed to realise his arms and legs were free because one hand went to the back of his head, threading through her hair and holding her in place, his grasp almost painfully desperate.

Mouths devoured and hands groped and grabbed whatever they could reach. It was only the sound of a muffled groan from behind them that cut through the heady desire thickening the air around them.

"No, wait." Pushing him away at that moment was the hardest thing she had done. Every nerve in her body was screaming at her to continue, to give in to what had been threatening to consume them from the beginning but she couldn't, she had to keep her wits about her. "We can't do this, not yet."

"Why not?" He demanded, a growl vibrating beneath the words as he reached for her again, narrowing her eyes when she took a step away. The distance, no matter how small, helped marginally and he blinked, his eyes focusing as he regained a little of his control. "Carter?"

Embarrassment – and remorse – flooded his features but they were replaced by confusion when she smiled sweetly at him. "It's not that I don't want to, I do, but we can't, not here." She gave the SF slowly winning his battle with unconsciousness a fleeting glance before returning her attention to the man in front of her. "They don't know how close they are to finding a cure," she explained hurriedly. "And Doctor Brightman wants to keep us caged until they find one. They want to keep us apart, Jack. We have to leave, go somewhere we can be together, somewhere we'll be safe, where we won't hurt anyone if our.. if things get out of control. Just till they know how to help us."

He nodded his agreement but his eyes raked hungrily over her body, making her flush all over, creating a slow burn in the pit of her stomach. "Then let's get out of here."

"We can't both go," she interrupted him even as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. The look on his face was almost comical but she saw the underlining frustration and continued quickly. "We'll be easy to find if we escape at the same time and I want to get some of the powder Anoc gave us, just in case we start wanting to hurt people. I'm hoping it'll keep us relatively safe, at least until we learn how to control some of our other instincts. The dangerous ones."

'Other instincts'. That made him grin wolfishly and spread a light blush over her face. Other instincts included the urge to kill, not the urge to do other things. The thought didn't distract him for long, though, and he shook himself mentally against the images in his head. "I won't leave without you. I can't."

"Yes, you can." She leaned in for what she'd intended to be a brief, sweet kiss but it turned into something much more intense. Her heart pounded and her temperature soared. By the time she pulled away, her lips were swollen and her eyes dark. "You have to. They don't know I'm different yet but they'll just keep sedating you. You have to go, Jack. Wait for me locally and we'll move on from here when I find you."

"How will you find me?" He asked hesitantly, taking the card and gun she offered him.

A slow feline smile spread across her face, a suggestive glint in her eyes. "I'll always find you. No matter where you are. Or you'll find me. Have a little faith, Jack."

"In you, I have all the faith in the world." He reached for her hand, kissing her palm before nibbling on each finger in turn – the only thing he'd let himself do or else they ran the risk of being caught out. "Hurry, Sam. Don't worry about the powder if it's hard to get. Just come to me soon."

"As soon as I can," she vowed, the promise evident in her eyes. "Wait for me."

"Always." He wasn't just talking about their current situation and it wasn't the infected part his mind making the declaration.

"Go." She moved away from him, knowing that the closer they were, the harder it would be to contain themselves. "Go now."

Jack nodded again in understanding and strode towards the door. As she'd done before, he paused to listen for anyone outside and, on hearing no one, gave her one last lingering glance before sneaking out into the empty corridor.

She collapsed back against the wall, taking a few moments to catch her breath and slow her heartbeat. Five minutes later, when the klaxons started to sound, Doctor Brightman found her back in her room, sound asleep under the sheets with only the word of a concussed SF as evidence of her participation in the General's escape.

=*=

/part three

=*=

For the first day, he wandered aimlessly around the back streets of Colorado Springs, ducking into the shadows every time a car went by. For the second day, he decided he needed to be close to her – if he was going to be able to control himself, to repress the urge to hunt and kill, he needed her calming influence. He needed her presence to keep his rational mind working.

Jack waited until dark, aware that it was the most dangerous time for him to be out but also aware that it was the easiest time to get around undetected. His eyesight had improved but he couldn’t relax in the knowledge that he was one step ahead of them, he had to stay on edge if he was to fight his transformation into the beast he could become.

He went first to his house, sniffing the air before stepping inside. They'd been there, he could smell them. He could smell the gun powder and the faint scent of a tranquilliser dart having been in the vicinity of the house though the scents were faint, suggesting they'd been and gone several hours ago. Still, he didn't want to linger any longer than he had to so he moved quickly, gathering some clothes and pushing as many of them as possibly into his bag.

He hesitated in the living room, staring at the photograph of his family. His ex-wife and his late son. With the tenderness of a father, his fingers trailed over their faces, a sad but accepting smile on his lips. They had been his pack once, his family. It had been his job to protect them and he'd failed.

He drew his fingers back, his hand clenching into a fist. His nails grew and dug into his palm but he barely noticed.

He'd failed the first made he'd taken and he wouldn't do it again. Sara had been a strong woman, a woman he'd loved, but Sam was different. Sam was more than that. She was stronger, maybe wiser. She was just as capable of defending him and any future children they might have as he was of protecting her and he loved her. Desperately, it seemed. More than that, he *needed* her. Wanted her. Had chosen her above all others.

The crunch of gravel outside as a car approached the house disturbed his musings.

They were back. Hunting him.

Jack grabbed his bag and fled into the night, guided by scent and sound as much as sight.

When Teal'c and Daniel led the SF's into the house less than five minutes later, there was very little to suggest that he'd been there. Only the back door swinging on its hinges and the breeze it released into the house said that the house hadn't left in the condition they'd left it.

=*=

It coursed through her veins when she least expected it to. A hunger, a craving, a lust for something that both disgusted and tempted her. She sat in the corner of the darkened room, her legs itching for her to move. Pacing for four hours hadn't satiated the need rising inside her. Neither had the two-hour workout she'd had before.

Nothing could satisfy her appetite, nothing could stop what was happening to her.

The blood thundered through her veins and pounded in her head, the need becoming more and more urgent.

Her fingernails, now sharp like claws, dug into her palms and drew blood, the tangy metallic scent teasing her heightened senses and pushing her – almost pushing her – over the edge.

She kept her eyes closed, ground her teeth and focused on the pain, using the burning agony spreading like wildfire through her body to fight the transformation trying to take place.

She had to hold on, had to keep fighting, just till morning. Just till sunrise. Then she could make her escape. Then she could save her friends from the horrors that awaited them if she was forced to stay.

=*=

"Did you find him?" Sam asked conversationally the following morning when Daniel and Teal'c stopped by her from. She did her best to act concerned - and to keep the relief she felt at their downcast expressions from showing on her face.

Doctor Brightman had reluctantly agreed she could still visitors since she hadn't shown any signs of violent behaviour and Sam was grateful. Without the contact, she thought she'd go mad. Then again, if she didn't get out of there soon, she was afraid she would start hurting people. Desperation was rapidly clouding her judgement, the four walls of her room chasing away the control she was struggling to hold on to.

"He went home briefly," Daniel replied, his hands in his pockets as a dejected expression arranged his features. "But he managed to get away before we could talk to him."

"Did he take anything with him?" Sam wondered aloud, cursing herself for asking at the look that appeared on Teal'c's face and hoping to cover her slip up with a small smile. "If he's planning on running or leaving the state, he'd need to take some clothes and money, wouldn't he? At least if he was thinking like a human?"

Teal'c inclined his head in acceptance of the question but the suspicious gleam didn't fade from her eyes. Sam noticed and filed it away for future reference. If anyone on base could understand the situation she was in, it would be Teal'c and if he would help her, she could be free much sooner than she'd allowed herself to hope. "We believe he took several items of clothing and perhaps some money. We found all of his credit cards in his wallet."

Sam nodded slowly, her heart rate slowing as relief set in. Clothes meant he was still thinking as a civilised human, that he was still in control. And credit cards could be easily traced so his leaving them suggested he was thinking ahead. Good. "That's good," she responded aloud. "It means he's more human than animal. Hopefully he won't hurt anyone if he can stay in control."

"There's been no reports of any attacks on humans or animals so that's good." Daniel continued, failing to notice to look Teal'c was receiving from Sam. "Of course it blows Doctor Brightman's theory about the virus wanting to spread out of the water. Why would he keep to himself if all he wants to do is infect more people?"

"Because he doesn't want to infect them. That would mean creating more of his kind and if he did that, one or more of them could challenge his position as leader. I think you were right about the virus affecting his brain in an animalistic fashion, Doctor Jackson." Doctor Brightman entered the room, her gaze skipping her patient and landing on the surprised archaeologist. "I'd like to run a theory passed you, Doctor. Could you spare me a few minutes?" She looked at Sam then, giving her a pointed look, and Sam knew the game was up.

Clenching her jaw, Sam ground her teeth to keep herself from snarling a cutting remark or even a threat at the doctor and watched as Daniel followed the other woman out of the room. She was aware that Teal'c had chosen to stay behind and turned her gaze back to him, knowing that and keeping her promise to Jack. "I need your help, Teal'c. I need you to help me get out of here."

If she was expecting surprise, she was disappointed. If she was expecting an outright refusal, then she was definitely in for a surprise. "Explain why you think I should assist you, Colonel Carter."

"Because if you don't nothing's going to stop him from killing something, maybe a person." She pushed herself up onto her feet, standing with her arms crossed defensively across her chest. "I can't explain what's happened to us, Teal'c, but we're not human anymore. We're more than that. And the only thing stopping us both from behaving like Barita and her people is the thought that were together, that we're going to be together so that if one of us starts thinking about doing something we shouldn't, the other can step in and provide a distraction."

"With your bodies," Teal'c guessed bluntly. "You are still aware of the reasons you and General O'Neill have not consummated your relationship are you not?"

"I'm probably more aware of it than ever. I know that these feelings are wrong. I know that wanting to be with him this much is a side effect of the virus and that giving in will probably mean the end of our careers but I also know fighting it could hurt other people. We have two choices, Teal'c," Sam couldn't quite believe they were having such a frank discussion about her love life but forced herself to continue it, no matter how embarrassing she would later be. "One, you keep me here. You keep us apart. Yes, you can have me sedated and locked up in a cell but what about Jack? What about General O'Neill? When there's nothing to distract him, when I'm not there, he'll either try and find someone else which I doubt or he'll start giving in to other urges. He'll start to chase and hunt and kill and the human side of him will be lost or destroyed, even if Doctor Brightman does find a cure and manages to give it to him."

"And choice two?" Teal'c pushed her for an answer, even as she paused to catch her breath and stay in control.

"Choice two is you let me go. He's waiting for me but I don't know how long he can keep waiting. Help me get some of Anoc's medication and I'll make sure we take it. I know the consequences of being allowed near him now our inhibitions have been effectively stripped but I know they've got to be better than the alternative. At least then we have a chance at being able to live with ourselves when this nightmare is over."

"How do I know you will take the medication? How do I know this is Colonel Carter talking to me and not the virus in her system?"

"You don't," she answered simply. "You just have to trust me. Please, Teal'c. I know I must sound like some hormone driven hussy right now but you don't understand what it's like. You don't understand what I'm capable of, what I'm trying to avoid. The urge to hut and kill is second only to the need to make and reproduce and I know how that sounds but it's true."

"If I were to help you, if you were later cured, would O'Neill and yourself be able to resume your current relationship?" Teal'c studied her intently, fixing her to the spot with his gaze. "Would not the working relationship you share suffer?"

"No more than it has over the last four years." She smiled as she answered but there was no trace of humour on her face. "It wouldn't be easy but we'd do what we have to, assuming we're both still permitted to work here."

Teal'c stared at her for several long seconds. He watched her uncross her arms and flex her hands, saw the agitation on her face and the pleading look in her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to it, covering her face with her hands and turning away from him.

"I must sounds crazy," she murmured mostly to herself. "Like a bitch in heat. I'm trying to fight it, I really am. It's just so hard and I'm getting so tired. Maybe it's better if you keep me here, if you keep us apart. I can't promise nothing will happen between us if you let me go to him no matter how hard I try to fight it. All of that control seems to go out of the window when we're in the same room and I don't know how to stop it. But if you keep me here, you better get some really strong chains. I wouldn't be able to live myself if I hurt someone while I'm like this, especially not if it were you or Daniel or General Hammond. I couldn't.. The thought makes me sick. It makes me want to hurt myself just so I can't hurt anyone else."

Teal'c took a step closer to her, resisting the voice in his head that told him to comfort her. She didn't want his touch; he knew that. And if the animal side of her was fighting for control, touching her could give anger it, could give it strength. He wasn't her chosen, and he wasn't the one who could calm the urgency rising within. "I will help you, Colonel Carter," he told her quietly, not wanting to risk being overheard. "I will return in one hour with the medication you seek. You will need to make it appear as though you have overpowered me and you will need to be far from here when your escape is detected."

His piece said, Teal'c turned and walked to the door. He looked back at her when she spoke softly, noticing her hunched shoulders and bowed head, seeing the shame in her posture she'd tried to keep from her voice. "Thank you, Teal'c."

So he helped her escape on hour later, ushering her to an exit he'd helped her use once before. That time, so long ago, he'd been so sure he was doing the right thing, that it was the two of them against the SGC. This time, however, he had his doubts but did it anyway, for her, for both of his friends. Hoping that together they would find the strength they needed to stay in control, to keep their primal instincts at bay so that they both had lives to come back to.

=*=

/part four

=*=

She hoped Teal'c was okay, that he wasn't in trouble for helping her but the thoughts of her friend faded rapidly as she slowed her pace, letting the despair sink in. She was keeping to shadows and dark patches as much as she could, trying to get there as fast as she could but the problem was she didn't quite know where 'there' was.

She didn't have the faintest idea where he was. On more than one occasion she'd thought she'd picked up on his trail only to meet a dead end where that was concerned – and the rain didn't help. It was raining so heavily she could barely see three feet ahead of her and the scent of the rain disguised any other lingering smells she had hoped to somehow pick up on. It was cold and dark and she was drenched to the skin and ready to admit defeat.

After three hours of wandering around aimlessly, Sam decided enough was enough. She needed a change of clothes, needed somewhere warm and safe to take shelter for a while and ride out the storm – both the one she was standing in and the one she could feel gather strength inside her.

Maybe leaving the SGC wasn't such a good idea after all. At least there she was warm and dry and wit people, not out in Colorado Springs on her own in the middle of the night. And if she was unable to keep the beast at bay, at least at the SGC she'd be stopped from hunting anyone – by force if necessary. Here she was out in the open, vulnerable to attack, leaving the innocent people she passed at risk from her own violent tendencies.

She could feel those urges coming to the fore; she could feel the fire start to blaze in her blood. She stopped in the middle of an alley and closed her eyes, tipping her face up to the sky so the rain could cool her down, half hoping it would wash away the horror she felt at what she knew was to come if she failed in repressing it

Heavy drops of water hit her face, streaming down every crevice, moulding the clothes to her body. Every part of her was single-mindedly doing its best to distract her from giving into the agony. She felt every drop of rain, heard it fall all around her, let the fresh, clean scent intoxicate her.

That was why she didn't see her attacker until it was too late. That was why she was grabbed from behind, turned around roughly and then had hard, hot lips pressed against hers.

It took all of two seconds for her to realise he wasn’t a threat, two seconds for her to recognise the arms wrapped tightly around her, two seconds for the familiar smell of him to assault her senses.

It felt so familiar being with him, standing there kissing him in the rain.

Too familiar considering it was something they'd never done.

It shouldn’t right, so normal. It shouldn't feel like she was where she belonged. It was wrong, it was dangerous, it could ruin both of their careers, let alone their lives and she was in a serious relationship and it was wrong and bad and damn, but it felt so good.

So. Damn. Right.

She couldn't get enough of him and as much as she was loathe to admit it, she knew she could put all the blame on the virus racing through her body. At that moment in time, she felt more human – more woman – than animal and maybe that was what scared her the most.

That it could've been like this without the virus. That it could be like this after the virus.

That maybe now she knew what they were missing out on they wouldn't be able to resist its pull when – if – everything went back to normal.

She dragged herself away, calling on the self-discipline she'd learnt during her years with the Air Force to keep from giving in to the look in his eyes. "We shouldn't do this," she said, raising her voice to be heard above the sound of the pouring rain. "We have to think about our careers, we have to remember there'll be consequences."

Jack stared at her, almost seeing through her. His brain had been halved; one half was the human side and understood – and agreed with – everything she was saying. The other half was the wild side, the side literally going into overdrive because she was so close, the side that could only see one consequence of a union with her: children. It wasn't a bad thought for his infected half, it was actually part of the reason he wanted her. To breed, to start a family. To survive and pass something of himself on to the next generation.

"We should talk about this," the still human side of him agreed, grappling with his other half for dominance. "But let's get out of the rain, Carter, you're soaked."

A fleeting smile, one of relief at the reappearance of the familiar O'Neill wit, crossed briefly over her lips. "You're not exactly dry yourself, Sir." She let go of his arms and let her hands hang loosely at her sides. "Do you know where we can go? I could really use a change of clothes."

"They were at your place earlier," Jack informed her, not going into detail to explain that he'd been hiding there for the last few days. "They won't be back, not tonight. We can stay there till morning and then decide what we're going to do."

It was a good plan, a seemingly flawless one. Sam agreed to it, thinking she'd be more likely to be able to keep in control if she was in a familiar place, surrounded by her own things.

She was wrong.

=*=

His control was the first to break. His hold on it had been tremulous at best and he had to remind himself with every step closer they took to her house just who he was, who she was and why the thoughts and wants running through his mind were bad. Very bad.

But try as he might, no matter how many times he reminded himself that she was Carter – Colonel Carter – and he was General O'Neill, his mind kept referring to them in the simplest of terms: Jack, man. Sam, woman.

The part of his mind that was overtaken by the virus teased and tested his control, reminding him those feelings of lust and love had been there for a lot longer than it had. Reminding him she was the woman he cared for, the woman he wanted, the woman he couldn't in his right mind have without it laying heavily on his conscience.

Until now.

Until he wasn't entirely in his right mind.

Until he caught a glimpse of her in an oversized t-shirt and nothing else, not until he caught a whiff of another man having been in her house – in her bed – and the jealousy surged up and almost completely consumed him.

"Carter," he managed to choke out, leaning against the doorway to her bedroom. He watched her look up at him from the clothes she'd laid out on the bed, surprise ad something else in her eyes. "Tell me again why we can't do this. Tell me to leave or remind me of all of the reasons we listed on the way here or do something. Tell me to leave. Just don't let me do this. Don't let me hurt you."

For five whole seconds she just stared at him. Jack felt his blood heat up, he felt his control slip and knew she had to say something soon, knew she had to talk him out of it or send him away or he would have to force himself to leave.

Or he'd give in. He would rather hurt himself than do that to her. He would do anything to stop himself from taking a step forward and pulling her to him.

His struggled played out across his face, plain and clear for her to see. It wasn't just that how much he wanted her shone through in those moments that made her reach the decision she made. It was the fact that he held back, that he was still holding back, that he was fighting it with every ounce of his being.

That she believed he would have done anything in that moment to stop himself from hurting her, to stop himself from crossing the line they'd both been walking without her permission.

She knew then that if she told him no he would turn and run. That he would do whatever it took – stand in the way of oncoming traffic, eat a bullet – to keep himself from forcing himself on her.

Seeing his need only seemed to increase hers. Seeing his control completely give away only encouraged her to let her own slip. To loosen her grip on the boundaries she knew she wanted to break.

So she did the only thing she could. Sam Carter gave into the emotions welling up inside, to the fire burning slowly deep down in her stomach. She took a step towards him and stretched out her hand, inviting him into her bedroom, into her bed, and all the way into her heart.

=*=

They'd known once they started they could never stop. And they'd know that once if had happened once, it would happen again and again and again.

Neither of them hesitated. Coherent through and rationality flew out of the window the moment the tips of his fingers grazed hers.

It started out slow and tender and sweet but rapidly changed into something more. Months were locked, hungry and desperate. Hands grabbed and groped urgently as clothing was shed, torn into shreds by human hands as they backed up towards the bed.

Her head fell back against the pillows, her eyes sliding shut as a low moan escaped her lips. Her lover, her *mate*, left no inch unexplored, claiming her, suckling and biting and marking her as his own. Removing all trace, all memory of those who had come before him so that he was all she could think about, so his name was the only one that echoed in her mind.

Her breath hissed out from between her teeth as he found a particularly sensitive place on her chest, just above her breast, and she both felt and heard his answering chuckle, his breath warm and tantalising on her sensitised skin.

Deciding she could give as much as he could, she tangled her hands in his hair and yanked his face none too gently to hers. She looked into his eyes for a second, saw the smug grin on his lips and decided retaliation was the next best thing to revenge.

With a warning growl, she pilled his head closer, nibbled on his lower lip before kissing him deeply, keeping control, making him beg for more. She wrenched her mouth away and turned her head, using the distraction as he tried chasing her lips to her advantage by flipping them so their positions were reversed.

Now it was her turn to be in charge, to learn the contours of his body and make him squirm and sigh beneath her touch. Time to exorcise the ghosts of his old flames, to replace then so he would want her and only her for the rest of their lives.

When they were both panting, both slicked with sweat and half-crazy with wanting more, she relinquished control to him once more, let him turn them so he was the dominant one.

Their fingers entwined as their bodies were joined, their eyes meeting as he held himself still above her and she tried to do the same below.

The beast looked down and saw his mate, his lover, the future mother of his children.

The man looked down and saw the woman he loved, the woman he wanted, and searched her eyes for any sign that she didn't want this as much as he did.

The beast grew impatient – she was his for the taking, it didn't matter what she wanted – but Jack held firm, waiting.

Sam saw the question in his eyes and almost laughed out loud at the absurdness of it; after all they'd done, after all she'd done, he still wasn't sure she wanted him.

So with a devious smile and a mischievous gleam in her eye, she lifted her hips and tilted them slightly, gritting her teeth against the sensations it caused but satisfied that his reaction showed understanding – and pleased by all means that he couldn't quite keep the concerned expression in place.

Her answer, or way of answering, set the tone. Lovingly, playfully, they slowly climbed the peak together and shattered simultaneously when they reached the top.

Jack lowered himself down onto her, nuzzling her neck as they struggled to catch their collective breath after falling back to Earth so spectacularly. His lips moved and encountered slightly raised skin and he leaned back, pressing their lower bodies together as he propped himself up on his elbows.

The patch of skin was no longer red or angry but it was still puckered, still obvious against her otherwise unblemished form. He could see the bite clearly, he could even see the imprint of a tooth or two and the guilt that flooded him was immediate and immense.

"Don't," she whispered, her voice a husky shadow of what it usually was. He dragged his gaze to hers, fearing what he'd find there by those fears went unfounded. "It wasn't you, Jack. Don't feel guilty, don't feel bad. It happened for a reason and without it we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't have know.."

'What this felt like.'

'What it is to be so completely loved you almost can't stand it.'

"How do I know that bite isn't the reason you're here? How do I know it isn't why you let me do this to you?" His gaze flickered away, back to the healing wound, realising that she'd probably be left with a scar. A permanent reminder of what he'd done to her.

He tried to move, tried to roll to the side but her arms held on and kept him in place. "I'm here because I want to be, and if you don't believe that by now you probably never will. You can't take all of the credit for what just happened, Jack. I won't let you. Yes, the circumstances aren't ideal, there'll be consequences we have to deal with but that doesn't take anything away from the amazing experience we just shared. Certainly not for me." One hand moved to his cheek, cupping his face tenderly. "Look at my nails, Jack. At my teeth. Look at your own and tell me again that you don't know this is me. The virus, the creatures we become.. They might be responsible for it starting but it's because of us that it continued. Because we both wanted it, because we both want it to happen again."

He studied her face and saw nothing to suggest she was lying to him, nothing to suggest she was telling him anything but the absolute truth. He rolled off her, heard her sigh in disappointment before he made his motives clear and pilled her against him, wrapping one arm around her waist so his hand came to rest on the curve of her stomach as one of his legs slipped between hers. Anchoring her to him, keeping her close. "We're going to get through this," he promised her softly, letting his eyes slide shut when she relaxed against him and laced her fingers through his where their joint hands lay against her stomach. "I promise you we'll get through this."

"And we'll get through whatever comes afterwards," Sam agreed with a yawn, closing her eyes and allowing herself a moment to revel in the feel of his body cocooned around hers.

A moment was all she had, the draw of slumber proving too much, too great a temptation no matter how much she wanted to savour their embrace.

=*=

/part five

=*=

His nails were claws when she woke up, her body instantly put on full alert when she felt him tense and felt the warning growl vibrate in his throat before hearing it leave his lips.

She sniffed the air instinctively for any sign of danger that would explain his behaviour and her eyes shot open at the familiar scent she detected. Her mouth moved wordlessly, her eyes locking on the figure frozen just over the threshold of her bedroom door.

Pete Shanahan stood rooted to the spot, his eyes roaming over the torn clothes, following the trail they created as it led to his girlfriends bed where she lay naked, entangled in the sheets and in the arms of her possessive lover.

And he was her lover, Pete would have known even without the piles of clothing screaming at him like flashing neon signs. The man he recognised to be the recently promoted General O'Neill stared at him with burning eyes, his fingers splayed possessively over Sam's barely covered midriff. The look on his face was a threat, a clear and loud warning that set off the alarm bells in his head.

"Pete.." Sam's voice sounded as strangled as he knew his would be, her expression mortified even as she shrank back in her lovers embrace. "I can explain.." she started to voice the excuse, the lame excuse he'd heard time and time again on countless made-for-TV movies, the ones he'd scoffed at, believing no one would ever actually use a line like that.

But she didn't finish. He waited for her to continue, to tell him it wasn't what it looked like but she didn't. Her eyes widened – not with regret but with fear – and he watched in disbelief as she twisted in her lover's arms and pinned him down just in time to stop Jack from leaping from the bed in all his naked glory.

"Go!" She shouted at him, and for some reason he felt the urge to laugh. Who did she think she was, making demands when she was the one in the wrong? "Pete, *please*. Leave. Leave now, while you can."

It was the pleading in her voice that did it, the note that made him move. But instead of moving away, he took a step closer only to freeze again.

For the first time he realised that there was nothing natural about the way General O'Neill's eyes glowed. He noticed the fangs growing where teeth should have been, the claws where fingernails once were and he realised his girlfriend was undergoing the same transformation.

Something wasn't right. Something was far from right.

He backed out of the room, slowly at first like someone trying to escape a rabid dog without attracting too much attention. Then he ran. He ran to the front door, slamming it behind him with such force that it recoiled and bounced back on its hinges.

Something definitely wasn't right.

Sam, meanwhile, allowed the transformation to overtake her for the first time without fighting it, using every part of her body to keep her lover down.

"We have to leave," she told him urgently when he finally seemed assured that the threat was gone, that the challenger had backed down. "Listen to me, Jack. He saw what happened, he knows it isn't normal. He'll call the SGC and they'll come here looking for us. We have to go now or they'll lock us up indefinitely."

The commonsense of her warning sank in and they were both successful in their attempts at undoing the change. Jack didn't say anything, not even a single word as they gathered as much as they could carry and fled into the newly dawning day.

When Pete led Daniel and Teal'c into the house not more than ten minutes later all they found was a rapidly cooling bed and a pile of ruined clothes.

"They were here," Pete insisted, his still shell-shocked gaze wandering over the mess they'd left behind. He turned to face his girlfriend's friends, his expression defiant and determined. "What I saw wasn't normal, Doctor Jackson. I want to know what's going on."

=*=

They walked through the woods on the outskirts of a local park in silence for almost two hours, after having drive a car they'd 'borrowed' for another hour without a word being said. Jack refused to talk, he hadn't even commented when she'd hotwired the car and he'd ignored her attempts at starting a conversation, grunting his replies if he chose to make any sound at all.

Sick of his juvenile behaviour, Sam stopped walking and crossed her arms over her chest, letting the backpack she had been carrying drop to the floor. Jack walked ten more paces before he noticed she wasn't walking with him and sighed noisily when he retraced his steps until they were standing side by side.

"I'm not walking until you tell me why you're acting like this," Sam declared, shooting him a look that would have sent a lesser man covering behind the nearest tree. "In fact I'm not going anywhere with you until you snap out of it."

Jack just stared at her and said nothing. They'd both managed to reverse their transformations but the ability to return to his natural stay was no comfort. Now then he'd so easily changed in the first place.

He continued staring at her, speaking only when ten minutes had passed without either of tem having said a word. "I could have killed him," he said simply, letting the shame he felt seep into his voice but unable to break the hold her gaze had over his. "If you hadn't stopped me, I would have clawed out his eyes so he couldn't look at you anymore. I would have ripped out his throat and done my best to rip out his heart. Then I would have raped you to make sure you knew who you belong to. Is that what you want me to say, Carter? Is that what you want to hear?"

"You know it isn't," Sam answered quietly after deliberating over his words for a minute or so. "But bottling it up isn't going to make it go away. Pretending we're not sick isn't going to make us better again. You have to try and remember that, Jack." She took a step closer to him, reached out to touch his arm only to have him jerk away as though her touch was hot like fire. "It isn't you. You don't want to hurt him; you don't want to see him dead. And you don't want to hurt me either."

"How do you know?" He raked his hands through his hair, staring at her in frustration. "The way he was looking at you.. The thought of him touching you.. It drives me crazy, Sam. And then the thought of hurting him, for a second I considered it – not the virus or the animal part of me or whatever it is - *I* considered hurting him to make him go away. And then the thought of making sure you and he both knew who you belong to.. Damn it. It was so fucking tempting and I don't know how to make you understand what that felt like."

"You don't need to try and make me understand anything," Sam countered with a grimace. "I'm well aware of what you're going through because I'm going through it too. Do you think you’re the only one going through this? Damn it, Jack, you're not the only one trying to control things you've never had to control before. You're not the only one who's capable of killing people and hurting people and enjoying it. I don't want to feel like this either but I do and I'm trying to cope with it. If you seriously don't think you're going to be able to stop yourself from doing something you'll regret, we'll head straight to the SGC and let them deal with it."

"You know that isn't a viable option, Carter, not unless we want to be drugged out of our minds and strapped to a bed for God-alone-knows how long." He felt his temper rising, felt something stir inside. He lowered his head and massaged his temples, trying to force it back.

"It's happening again, isn't it?" Cautiously, Sam took a small step towards him. "It's because we're here, out in the open. Because you know that just a few miles away there are people who don't know they're in danger. Because you can hear them, because you can smell them. I know how tempting it is, Jack, because I'm feeling it just as much as you are." She waited until he looked up at her and then let it happen. She closed her eyes, ground her teeth against the pain and let the beast consume her, take over her. And when she looked at him again, it wasn't with Sam Carter's eyes. "If you want to hunt someone, hunt me. If you want me, you'll have to try and catch me. I'm not making it easy on you this time."

She was baiting him, distracting him, luring him away from the hapless humans they could both sense on the other side of the trees. He knew that, he'd known it even before she started running in the opposite direction, her footsteps light, her pace lightening fast.

"Catch me if you can," she called out, injecting a playful tone into her voice as she sped through the trees, half of her praying he was following, half of her convinced he was. The animal in him wouldn’t let him resist, and it was the animal in him she hoped to keep distracted long enough for the man to regain control.

=*=

He had changed by the time he caught her. He pounced on her, knocking her to the ground and they rolled together, biting, kissing, clawing at each other's clothes.

Nothing else existed but the two of them. Nothing else mattered.

It wasn't gentle this time, not in the slightest. With fangs and claws, they marked each other, claimed each other, hurt each other. Skin was sliced and kissed and bit. The ground of the forest was hard and uncomfortable beneath them but neither noticed and neither particularly cared.

It was a frantic mating ritual, a fierce one. An act of violence as much as an act of love, a battle for dominance and a display of possession. She was his, she belonged to him. Just as much as he belonged to her and God help anyone who tried to get in their way.

Not that anyone did.

The part of the woodland she'd led him too was infrequently visited with very few tracks made in the dirt covered ground belonging to humans. Other animals had been there, bears and foxes and wolves and dogs and cats but no human had been there for a long time.

And no animal would dare interrupt them now.

Afterwards, they curled up together naked on the leafy floor, wrapped up in each other as their human minds were pushed to the side, relinquishing complete control for the first time. The creature that once had been Jack nuzzled the wounds he'd created on his mate's neck whilst she licked and kissed those she'd made on his chest and arms and anywhere else she could reach.

With the sounds of the forest closing in on them, with the birds singing in the trees ahead and the branches cracking in the mid-afternoon breeze, they slowly fell asleep entangled in one another's arms.

More animal than human, and that was something that scared them both.

=*=

They woke up as night twilight fell. The woods were quiet and neither could sense any humans for miles – something they were both grateful for since they woke up to find themselves naked some miles away from her bag with their remaining clothes.

Sam lifted her head and studied Jack's face carefully, seeing the exact moment the shame started to cloud his eyes. Pushing herself up, she kissed him sweetly and then sunk back down in his arms, resting her head against her chest and hearing his heart beat steadily under her ear. "I like you better without the fangs," she announced lightly, knowing that neither of them were prepared for the serious conversation they both knew they needed. "Means I can kiss you without hurting myself," she added in a sleepy voice.

"Likewise." He ran his hand over the expanse of smooth skin at her back and shifted slightly, knowing what she was doing and loving her for it, but wincing in spite of himself when the newly damaged skin of his chest complained. He let his head fall back, closing his eyes when she moved to kiss the healing cut better. "And without the claws, too. Obviously."

Sighing softly, Sam reluctantly untangled herself enough to move to her side, propping herself up on her elbow and staring at him through solemn blue eyes. "Think it's time to try Anoc's wonder drug?"

'Think it's time we admitted there's something wrong?'

Jack swallowed convulsively and nodded. "I think it might be. We could've hurt someone earlier. That's not a risk I want to take."

"Me either." She let her head drop back to his shoulder, her fingernails tracing patterns only she could see on his chest. "Do you think it'll change things? Between us?"

He paused, his hand stilling in its journey up her spine. "I don't think anything will change that," he answered eventually, honestly. His hand moved up to her head, stroking the tangled mass of blond hair it encountered. "You think we should go back to the SGC, don't you?"

A heavy sigh was her only reply for several long, tense minutes. "I think it's probably for the best. If we can prove to Doctor Brightman that the medicine works, that it's enough to keep us from hurting ourselves or anyone else in the meantime.. It won't be so bad."

"We won't be able to see each other. You know they'll keep us apart, they won't let us be together."

"Maybe that's for the best, too," she admitted softly. "Maybe we should wait until we're okay, until Doctor Brightman's found her miracle cure – or at least until we know if there is a cure. Then we can take it from there and see what happens."

She felt more than saw Jack nod beneath her and closed her eyes tightly. His agreement, although for the best, did actually hurt. Just like knowing nothing was going to be the same again, just like knowing they would soon be locked up, caged like animals, for a length of time that was anyone's guess.

"We should make a move, try out the medicine and then get in touch with the SGC in the morning," Sam murmured, moving as if to push herself up and away.

Jack's arm moved and held her down, kept her close. "Not yet."

=*=

/part six

=*=

"Carter, you are the only person I'd know who'd pack a science text book for going on the run." His whine was playful, just as the handful of grass she got in the face was designed to get a rise out of her.

They were sitting underneath the shade of a tree in the park, waiting for Daniel and Teal'c and various other members of staff from the SGC to arrive. They had taken Anoc's medicine and after a few hours had admitted that they both felt better, that it was easier to resist the call of the wild with the medicine's help.

Not so much the call of each other, but they were doing their best.

Sitting out in public helped, with Sam leaning against the tree trunk, Jack sprawled on the grass beside her, they waited patiently for their captors to arrive. They'd called an hour ago from a pay phone, explained calmly that they'd taken Anoc's medicine and were both feeling okay, both feeling calm. They'd spoken to General Hammond and he'd agreed with their request that they would be brought back to the SGC but without the need for violence. Without the need of sedatives and tranquilliser darts.

If they went back, it was of their own accord.

Of their own choice.

For the first half hour, Jack had lain with his head in her lap, enjoying the feel of her fingers running through his hair. Then she'd realised what she was doing and had stopped, and ever since then she'd immersed herself in her book, waiting quietly, while he'd tried to act as though nothing was wrong.

It was, though.

He missed her already. She was pulling away from him, Anoc's medicine helping her rebuild her walls and defences.

And he knew their time together was running out.

"Come on, Carter. Talk to me." He lay back with his hands behind his head, staring up at her through squinty eyes. He saw her eyebrows raise in question and shrugged the best he could. "Ask me anything. Anything at all."

"Okay." Sam set her book to one side and stared at him with a sly smile curving her lips. "Do you see much of Sara these days? Or think about her much?"

"I think about her sometimes, don't see her, though. I think she left the area." Jack replied without missing a beat, remembering another time when she'd asked him. Another time when he'd avoided the question. "Why? You're not jealous, are you?" Sam didn't answer and he laughed, delighted at the arch of her eyebrow. "Come on, Carter. That was a long time ago. A *very* long time ago. Before we even met. Pete, on the other hand.."

"Oh, I think it's safe to say that relationship is well and truly dead in the water." Sam rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her book, satisfied that they were both on the same page – so to speak. Now that she was no longer involved with Pete, and he wasn't involved with anyone else.. Well. It gave her hope for the future.

A future they might not have if no cure was found.

"I'm not so sure," he continued the conversation, letting his eyes close fully. "The under the influence of an alien virus defence stands up pretty strong. Maybe he'll be willing to look passed it.."

"If he feels that way, I'll just have to tell him it's over," she returned without even glancing up. She felt his eyes flicker towards her, knew he was staring at her, but kept her gaze averted on the blur of words. "I'll just tell him that the virus lowered my inhibitions and bought my true feelings to the surface and now it has.. Well, there's no point in denying it."

"Denying what?"

"That I'm in love with my Commanding Officer." Sam answered so calmly, so casually it was almost as though they were talking about the weather. "And that hopefully he's in love with me."

"There's no hoping about it." Jack grinned and she could hear the smugness in his voice. "He is. I am." His amusement faded and he sat up, his shadow falling over her book and making her look up. "And here comes the cavalry."

Sam took a deep breath and shut her book. It slipped from her numb fingers and rested in her lap. "I guess this is it, then."

"I guess." He gave her a sidelong look, his hand wandering towards hers. Their fingers locked and they stared at each other as Daniel, Teal'c and Doctor Brightman approached them cautiously. "Just.. Remember, okay?"

"Remember what?"

Jack gave her a sad smile and leaned across to give her the barest of kisses. "Everything."

They stood up together and squared their shoulders, facing the newcomers with wary expressions. Teal'c, Daniel and Doctor Brightman stood a few feet away, staring at them suspiciously.

Teal'c was the one to take the initiative and make the first move, stepping towards them cautiously. "O'Neill, Colonel Carter. Are you well?"

"We're fine, Teal'c, thank you." Sam quashed the urge to squirm although she couldn't quite keep the blush from spreading up her neck to her cheeks. She knew there was a bite mark on her neck, a hickey. One that hadn't been there when he'd helped her escape. "Anoc's medication works."

"We know," Doctor Brightman interjected coolly before Daniel or Teal'c could say it first. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at them speculatively. "I figured it out this morning. If you'd both come with us I believe we can cure you."

"Using Anoc's medication?" Jack and Sam exchanged a brief glance and Sam noticed how he positioned himself slightly ahead of her. Almost as if he were protecting her, defending her from an attack that wasn't there. "I thought it was a temporary fix-it, a lifelong thing. Not a permanent cure."

"It wasn't, but it is now. I modified it using notes of Doctor Fraiser's, using information she's gathered during a similar instance. I believe it was related to the planet referred to commonly as the Land of the Light and Dark?" Doctor Brightman either didn't see or ignored their reactions to the mention of the late Doctor – and the former mission – and continued calmly. "I combined the powder Anoc gave you with a liquid form of antihistamine. It took a while to get the dosage right but it seems to have killed the virus in the last sample of blood I had."

"Seems to?" Jack frowned and stared at her in disbelief. "You want to use us as guinea pigs? Is that it?"

"I'll do it," Sam volunteered before the Doctor could explain, sidestepping Jack and giving him a quick, reassuring smile. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life locked up in a holding cell. Anoc's medication isn't going to last forever and I don't particularly want to go back and ask for more. Test it on me. Get the right dosage and then we can put this behind us." She turned slightly to Jack and let one shoulder rise and fall. "It's my turn. You've volunteered once before, remember?"

"I remember."

"Now that's been agreed, we should head back to the SGC," Doctor Brightman continued sharply. "We don't know when your dose will wear off and I certainly don't want to be in public when it does."

With that, she turned on her heel and started back the way she'd come from. Daniel and Teal'c watched her go but waited to escort their friends back to the van they'd brought with them.

"Are you guys sure you're okay?" Daniel asked them quietly, casting concerned glances at them both. "What you've been through, what you did.. Are you going to be okay with it?"

"As okay as we've ever been with any of the crap that's happened over the last, oh, seven or eight years," Jack answered flippantly, taking the rancour from his words with a tight grin in his friend's direction. "Seriously, Daniel. We're okay. We didn't hurt anyone, if that's what you're worried about."

Teal'c gave Sam a look that made the blond woman blush. "Yet you appear to have hurt yourselves."

"It's nothing that won't heal," Sam murmured quietly, wrapping her arms around herself as Teal'c carried her bag and fell into step with her, walking a pace or two behind the General and Daniel. "Thank you for your help, Teal'c," she said softly, catching the Jaffa's knowing eyes with hers. "I know you're wondering if you should regret it but you shouldn't. You did the right thing."

"Will you be able to resume your working relationship, Colonel Carter?" Teal'c questioned her softly. "You have consummated your relationship with O'Neill. I believe Pete Shanahan is aware of it as well."

"It'll be okay." Sam replied confidently, her eyes shifting from his. "It'll all be okay."

Jack and Daniel gave no indication of having heard the conversation, though she was aware both of them had. Teal'c lay a hand on her arm, offering her his support and when they got to the van, Daniel stopped her from getting inside and gave her a quick hug, much to the chagrin of the watching Doctor.

"It's good to have you guys back," Daniel murmured in explanation, pulling away from her and glancing awkwardly between Sam and Jack. "And, well, as for the other thing.. Teal'c and me.. We just want you guys to be happy, okay? So if you decide.. Well. Whatever you decide to do. It's okay with us."

Having been given their blessing, in effect, to pursue a relationship with Jack, Sam felt strangely touched. It wasn't as if she needed their permission but it was nice to know they cared. Nice to know they'd support them, no matter what the consequences might be.

The four friends piled into the van at Doctor Brightman's impatient sigh and drove towards the SGC in silence. Somehow managing to sit next to each other, Sam and Jack's fingers searched and found the others, lacing together and holding tight.

Hoping they'd made the right decision in going back.

Hoping they'd be able to make the right decision when it was over.

=*=

The cure worked. Sam went first and after several hours of battling a high temperature – and having emptied the contents of her stomach on more than one occasion – Doctor Brightman took a blood sample and deemed her cured of the virus.

Sam didn't feel particularly cured.

She felt horrible. Sick and dizzy and tired. And her senses were still more sensitive than she remembered them being before. She could still hear footsteps in the hallway outside, she could hear the murmur of voices even through the closed door and the sterile smell of the infirmary made her stomach curdle.

But hey, if the Doctor said she was cured, she obviously was. Of the worst things, anyway.

The door to her private room opened and she looked up, expecting to see Teal'c or Daniel or one of the nurses from the infirmary. Her bottom jaw dropped and her eyes widened in surprise when her visitor stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Pete!" She exclaimed, trying to sit up but quickly finding herself ushered back down. Pete leaned in to kiss her cheek and straightened, handing her the flowers he'd brought with him. "I.. What are you doing here?"

"Doctor Jackson called and explained you'd turned yourself in," Pete answered with a strained smile, sitting down in the chair beside her bed. "He and Doctor Brightman explained what happened and General Hammond eventually agreed to let me come and see you. Just to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, thank you. And the flowers are lovely," she murmured quietly, chewing anxiously on her bottom lip. "Pete.. We have to talk. About what happened, about what you saw.."

Pete shrugged but he couldn't quite meet her eyes. "It wasn't you. It was the virus, Doctor Brightman explained that General O'Neill infected you in the first place so that was probably why you.. Why I saw what I did."

"No. It wasn't just the virus, Pete." Sam felt terrible for the words spilling from her mouth but she couldn't stop them. She found that part of her didn't want to. Pete was a wonderful man and she hated to hurt him but.. Their relationship couldn't continue now that she'd betrayed him. Now that she'd realised whatever it was between her and Jack wasn't going to just go away. And it wouldn't be fair to Pete. There was only room for one man in her life, in her heart, and it wasn't fair to string him along and let him believe that he was that man. "What you saw happened because we both wanted it to. It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the virus but the fact that it did.. It's something I can't ignore. We can't pretend it didn't happen and I can't.. I won't lie to you and tell you that I don't have feelings for General O'Neill when I do. I tried not to, I tried to ignore them and I hoped they'd go away but.. I love him," she said in a rush, expelling her breath as she finished her explanation. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, Pete. I never wanted to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you but we can't be together. Not now."

Pete stared at her for a long time, several emotions passing across his face. Stunned surprise, raw pain, a glimmer of anger and then numb acceptance. "Right." He got to his feet, his body stiff, his spine straight and shoulders tense. "If that's how you feel then I guess.. I guess I should go." He started towards the door, then stopped but didn't turn around. "If you change your mind you know where I'll be. Otherwise.. Well. I hope you feel better soon. Goodbye, Sam."

And that was that. The end of their relationship.

Sam fell back against the pillows and closed her eyes but not before two tears slipped out from beneath her eyelids and ran down her cheeks.

She was truly sorry for hurting him, sorry their relationship hadn't been able to end on a slightly better note – if there was indeed a way for a relationship to end positively. And she felt sad that she had her answer. She'd agreed to start a relationship with him to make an attempt at having a normal life, at having the life she'd dreamed about when she was a child with a husband to go home to, a few kids, maybe a dog, complete with the white picket fence and the family home.

She knew now that kind of life wasn't for her.

It wasn't what she wanted anymore, it wasn't what she could have.

A small part of her grieved for that life, for the normal future she was deprived of. But a bigger part of her, the more optimistic part.. It hoped for a chance at another type of future.

A future that wouldn't be perfect but one she'd be happy with.

One she wouldn't one day live to regret.

=*=

/part seven

=*=

The debriefing took place seven days later – and it was one of the longest, most uncomfortable not to mention embarrassing debriefings she'd ever had to sit through.

General Hammond wanted to know – in detail – of everything they'd done over the time they were infected. He said he needed to know where they'd been and what they'd done so he could be sure that they'd hadn't hurt anybody. So that he could then report to the President that all was well – and that they were able to resume their positions at the SGC without the incident being mentioned again.

Or coming back to haunt them.

"As for the other matter," General Hammond's pointed stare brought her back to the present and had her sitting up straight in her chair. "I discussed at length with the appropriate parties why you should and shouldn't be granted a pardon for effectively breaking regulations." He paused, drawing out the moment and giving them both stares that had them resisting the urge to sink down in their chairs – all while Daniel and Teal'c tried to contain their obvious amusement. "It was eventually decided that in this instant, the situation will not be pursued further. Doctor Brightman's report clearly states that you were under the control of an alien virus and you have both stated, for the record, that had you not been infected the regulations would remain intact. So, General O'Neill, I've been granted permission to once again return the running of the SGC to your capable hands and return the leadership of SG-1 to Colonel Carter. With your permission, Jack."

"Sure," Jack managed to croak. "Go ahead. Whatever you say, George."

"Oh, and Jack? I need you to sign this before I leave." General Hammond passed him a few sheets of paper stapled, unsurprised when Jack barely glanced at it and instead looked to him for an explanation. "It's my report to the President, along with Doctor Brightman's report. You need to approve it since you are in charge of the SGC."

"Oh. Right." Taking the pen he'd been playing with throughout the briefing, Jack flicked through the document, signing all the lines that had been marked with a cross before handing it back to his former boss.

"Well, now that that's out of the way, I'm afraid I have to go," General Hammond continued as if the younger General hadn't spoken though the sparkle in his eye seemed to suggest he'd heard perfectly well. That, and that he was pleased he didn't have to deal with the problems thrown up by SG-1's latest escapades.

"So soon?" Jack asked, mimicking George's actions and getting to his feet.

"I'm afraid so, Jack, there's a car waiting to take me to the airfield." General Hammond held out his hand. "You're doing a good job of things here, son. I always knew you would."

"Thank you, Sir." Jack took the offered hand and shook it formerly. "Feel free to stop by for a visit at anytime."

"I might hold you to that," Hammond returned with a smile. He turned to the three members of SG-1 and nodded. "SG-1, I didn't get to say this before so I'll say it now. It was an honour to serve with each and every one of you and I look forward to getting your reports and coming back when the need arises. Though I hope that need doesn't arise again anytime soon," he added, his expression serious but his eyes soft. "Doctor Jackson, did you say there was something you wanted to speak to me about..?"

General Hammond and Daniel slowly left the briefing room with Teal'c in tow, talking in low voices and laughing occasionally. Sam started to follow them out of the room but Jack stopped her by putting a hand on her arm, quickly removing it again when she looked down at it then back up to his face in surprise.

His eyes flickered briefly to his office, visible through the star chart that separated it from the briefing room and then to the door General Hammond and the others had left through. He motioned to it, his gesture implying that she should go before him. "Walk with me, Carter," he said in a voice that his aid could hear, adding in a more quiet tone, "we need to talk."

They walked in silence along the corridors, nodding politely at the people they passed, maintaining a respectful and appropriate distance between them at all times.

Well, almost.

They reached the corridor leading to Jack's quarters and he slowed his pace, his eyes going to the security camera that recorded that hallway. He waited until it was turned away from them, swiped his card through the lock on his door and opened it, pushing her inside before she could protest.

The door was closed behind them before the camera could turn back and catch them.

She still didn't have a chance to protest, not that she would have if she could.

Sam found herself backed up against the door and wound her arms around his neck, giving into his kisses, sharing his sense of urgency. She moved one of her legs so it was behind his – just seconds before he decided they needed to move and took a step back, tripping over her leg and tumbling to the floor.

They were both laughing as they landed – once they'd recovered from having the breath knocked out of their lungs. Jack broke Sam's fall as much as he could, rolling them once they'd landed so that she was on her back and he could look down on her, tenderly pushing the hair from her face. He leaned down and kissed her smiling lips, pulling back a few minutes later to hear her grumble a protest, her cheeks flushed and her smile happier than he'd seen in a long time.

"What do we do now?" She asked him, her voice husky, her arms still wrapped around his neck, bringing his head back down to hers for another kiss.

"Well if you have to ask.." He obliged her, kissing her softly, and grinned when he pulled back. "I'd suggest we move somewhere a lot more comfortable than the floor for a start. I have a perfectly good bed, you know. And it's bigger than yours, the perks of being General."

Sam laughed again, the tension of the last seven days draining out from her as she relaxed in her lovers embrace. She was pleased they had the same idea, that he wasn't able to push aside what they'd been through and pretend it hadn't happened. She regretted breaking regulations, hated the thought of letting her father and General Hammond down when they eventually found out but at the same time, she didn't want to be able to look back on her life ten years on and regret that they'd let the chance to be together pass them by. Not again. "I'm serious, Jack," she murmured, turning her head when he went to kiss her again.

"So am I," he muttered, trying again and groaning when his attempts were thwarted for the second time. "Sa-am."

"Jack!" She tried to push him away and ended up giving in when he started to tickle her into retaliation.

When they next spoke, Jack had got his wish and they'd moved to the comfort of his bed. He still tried to distract her, however, his hands wandering over her body and his mouth nuzzling her shoulder even as she tried to start a conversation. "What do we do now?" She murmured, twisting in his arms so they were both lying on their sides, face to face, forcing him to look at her instead of doing other things.

"I don't know," he admitted eventually, reluctantly conceding that they did need to talk. For a few minutes at least. "I honestly don't know, Carter."

Sam nodded, unsurprised by his answer. "Do we just give it up?"

"Could we?" He countered immediately, the challenge in his eyes making her smile.

"Probably not, no." She sighed softly and turned to lie on her back, staring up at the ceiling until he gathered her back into his arms.

"We can always use the alien influence excuse," he mumbled into her neck.

Rolling her eyes, Sam smiled in spite of herself. "You really thing so, hmm?"

"Yeah." Jack grinned, she could feel his lips turn upwards against her skin, and then nipped at her shoulder with his teeth. "Why not?"

"And just how long is this influence going to last?" She asked with another smile, shuffling until she was on the same eye level as he was, shifting closer so her lips were just millimetres away from his. "Because I should really make a note of it in my diary. You know, check it doesn't conflict with my schedule."

"Oh, I don't know." He stretched against her, wrapped his arms around her and turned them so he was underneath her, deciding quickly that he liked the change in position. "At least one, maybe two, lifetimes.."

Her eyebrows shot up and she laughed, the sound vibrating in her body. "Two lifetimes? Wow. That's a long time. A *really* long time."

"Certainly is," Jack agreed cheerfully, his hands wandering up and down her back, marvelling the fact she was with him again. Marvelling at how right it felt. Despite that, however, his voice was deadly serious when he continued. "Think you can handle that?"

Sam smiled and stretched languidly, taking her time to answer. "Oh, I can handle it if you can, General."

He grinned again, his momentary fears vanquished. "Sounds like a challenge, Colonel." He turned them again, quickly, enjoying the surprised shriek that escaped her as she found herself beneath him.

"I'm sure it will be," she murmured, closing her eyes when his lips were once again lowered to hers. "I'm sure it will be."

Regulations and responsibilities were momentarily forgotten. The horror of their experience banished as they focused only on the good that had come out of it.

Only on the good that was still to come.

=*=

After three weeks, they were sure they were still under the influence of the alien virus. Jack was so convinced that he arranged an appointment with the President, expecting to go to Washington so surprised when General Hammond arrived with President Hayes in tow three days after he'd made the call.

He was also surprised that after he made his announcement to the two men that all they did was exchange a knowing look and grin at him, making him feel as though he were missing out on something important.

"Did you hear what I said? I want to retire. I'm going to leave the SGC so you need to find a replacement." He stared at them as though they were crazy and started to wonder if maybe they were infected with some sort of virus. They certainly weren't acting normal..

"Can I ask why, Jack?" President Hayes asked casually, leaning back in his chair and gazing at him expectantly. When Jack paused, obviously searching his mind for a valid reason – one he could share – President Hayes grinned and decided to play with his subordinate's mind a little. "It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain attractive blond Colonel would it? Or a virus I believe you are supposedly completely cured of?"

"I never said I was completely cured," Jack returned immediately, pacing behind his desk. "Doctor Brightman said we were cured. We said that we were still experiencing some side effects and she said they'd fade in time but they haven’t."

"Side effects, Jack?" General Hammond managed to keep his face almost completely blank, masking his amusement with concern. "What kind of side effects?"

Jack shuffled on his feet, his hands in his pockets as he tried his best not to look like a guilty schoolboy summoned to see the Principal only to find his father was there, too. "I mean the hearing and the smelling and stuff. The senses-thing."

"'The senses-thing'," President Haynes repeated slowly, raising an eyebrow. "Nothing to do with Colonel Carter, then?"

"Well, I didn't say.."

"So if you were to retire, nothing would happen between you," General Hammond interrupted. "I have to say I'm surprised at you, Jack. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Smarter than what?"

Again, he went ignored.

"I don't see what else we can do, do you, George?" General Hayes sighed heavily. "I mean, if he wants to leave, we can't stop him."

"No, we can't." General Hammond returned the look he was being given and his gaze flickered from Jack back to the President. "We should tell him, though. Before he starts packing his things. It'd be a waste of time, really."

"I suppose we should save him the bother of packing and unpacking," General Hayes agreed, his eyes twinkling as he pulled out a wad of paper from his jacket. "You might want to look at this, Jack. And a little bit of advice for the future. When someone asks you to sign something, read it before you do. It does help to know what you're agreeing to."

Jack took the papers he was offered, scanning them quickly. His eyes widened and he stared at the words on the page in shock, checking and rechecking that the signature at the bottom of every page did indeed belong to him. "I don't.. When did I sign this? What does it mean?"

President Hayes shook his head and grinned at General Hammond. "And this is the man we're trusting to command one of the US government's most important programmes?"

"You signed it during the debriefing, son," General Hammond matched the President's grin with one of his own. "It means that you're officially no longer in the US Air Force. That you retired three weeks ago."

"But it says I'm still the commander of the base." Jack frowned at the title beneath his signature. "It says my name right there: Jack O'Neill, Base Commander, SGC." He looked up from the paper. "It doesn't say General."

"No, Jack, it doesn't. Though it's up to you if you still want everyone to refer to you as General. Or Jack. Or Mr. O'Neill. It's up to you." President Hayes and General Hammond stood up. "I like you, son, so I'll spell it out for you," President Hayes continued. "You are still the Commander of this base because quite honestly we can't think of anyone else who's better suited for the position. However, you are no longer an active member of the US Air Force therefore you are free to pursue a relationship with anyone under your command. If you chose to do so, Colonel Carter – and I think we're all honest enough to stop playing games and admit that there is something between you – Colonel Carter will report to you but her career and any future advances to it will be General Hammond's responsibility. You will pass him the reports of all teams as you are now but whereas you will be able to recommend other officers for promotion, General Hammond and he alone will be responsible for Colonel Carter's career. Is that acceptable, Jack?"

His response was to intimidate a goldfish.

"I think that means it's okay," General Hammond said a few moments later when it was clear Jack wasn't going to be able to respond. "Now why don't I give you a tour of the facility, Sir? Then we can return and finish this conversation once Jack has had a chance to absorb it and read through what he actually agreed to."

"Sounds like a good idea, George, lead the way."

Jack stood in exactly the same place, the document in his hand. The door had been closed for seven whole minutes before he moved towards his desk and sunk down into his seat. He sat staring at the front page for another two minutes before reaching for the phone.

"Carter? It's me." He grinned into the receiver and kicked back in his chair. "You won't believe the conversation I've just had with the President.."

=*=

/part eight

=*=

Le Fini.

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